Fasting and Prayer...

My dear Readers, 

Throughout history, recorded in the Scriptures, anytime there was an affliction of any kind - be it famine, plagues, or war - the instruction remained the same:  Fast and Pray!  

Nevertheless the children of God were commanded that they should gather themselves together oft, and join in fasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who knew not God. (Alma 6: 6)

So today, I implore you to do just that!  The list of afflictions plaguing our world this week alone is daunting!  We have wildfires in many regions, tremendous hurricanes and now threatened tsunamis, war torn countries, add a solar flare to boot.  Pray for our world that is in major crisis.  Accompany that prayer with fasting!  

Fasting doesn't always mean from food and drink, but it also includes abstaining from certain personal pleasures for a time.  While Jesus Christ our Savior did indeed offer His life up willingly for our Eternal Salvation, we are asked to prove our love for Him by our daily actions.  We have been given the tools for a joyful, blessed life.  People seem to think sometimes that simply accepting Jesus Christ and His Atoning Sacrifice is enough for Salvation.  At the Last Supper it was made very clear that He is our Eternal Covenant.  Covenant implies a two-way solemn contract.  

Fasting from our daily routine often helps us fill those now empty time slots with a more Christ-centered activity.  We deepen our spiritual understanding through Prayerful Scripture Study.  We can hear the inspiration of the Holy Ghost regarding acts of service for children of God around us.  We find peace in Him as we lay our burdens at His pierced feet.  We find our hearts lightened when we come to Him repentant and ready to turn our hearts and minds to Him.  God answers the supplications of His people.  He always has!  Provided they approach him with humility, repentance and simultaneous boldness!  

As you fast from certain activities, consider working towards the following:

Organize yourselves; ^aprepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a ^bhouse of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a ^dhouse of God; (D&C 109: 8)

As we fast and pray, know that we are remembering all who are or will be directly impacted by our current crisis' at this time...

Have Joy Trusting His Timing!

My Angel Baby - Joy-Anna Hope

The month of May is traditionally spent honoring Mothers.  Many mothers are overlooked in the church pews on Mother's Day due to a lack of a vibrant happy baby in their arms.  This post is dedicated to my fellow Angel Mamas and Mothers-to-Be who are struggling with Infertility and Secondary Infertility.

My entire youth and young teen life, I was told I would never have children.  It was physically impossible.  I had been raped repeatedly as a toddler.  Again as a young teen.  The damages that had been caused to my developing reproductive system were extensive.  Then by nothing short of a miracle, I surprisingly conceived.  At 37 weeks due to a tragic accident, my baby girl returned to heaven.  I was a MOTHER!  However, my baby is an ANGEL.  The accident caused even more damages, ripping uterine muscles causing extensive scar tissue buildup.  Once again I was told, no way I would never have any children.  If I would ever be lucky enough to conceive I would never be able to carry to term.  At least so the doctors said.  During the years between my angel and the birth of my first living child, I dreaded Mother's Day.  Although "I" knew I was a mother, no one else did!  Everyone was being recognized and I sat in a pew crying silent tears.  Since then, I have struggled with repeated miscarriages and Secondary Infertility.

 Each year, I have mixed emotions on Mother's Day.  My heart rejoices seeing the blessings in my life: my living children.  Yet somehow my heart grieves for my children who are celebrating from the realms of glory in heaven!  My heart is overflowing with abundant love for all of my children.  Each one being a unique spirit who has added something to my life regardless of whether they live or grew wings!

So this Mother's Day, please go out of your way to recognize an Angel Mama or a Mama who you know is on her Journey to Motherhood.  We are all Mothers.  Just at different stages in the Journey!

Some good ideas are to share a message of Hope with the Story of Hannah and a flower.  Or a message of Faith with the Story of Sarah.  Remember, when we have Faith in God, it means we have Faith in His Timing!  Remember too that we are a society of women who are here to uplift one another!  Motherhood is a beautiful thing, in all of its stages!  Be Blessed, my sweet Mamas, and never give up!

Mama with little Esther

Lastly, bear in mind that God has a plan for you!  God has a plan of JOY for you!  Focus on the joys along the journey!  God will lead you on this journey!  If faced with Infertility, God will open doors that will lead to motherhood!  Motherhood is achieved in many different ways!  If you struggle with Secondary Infertility/ Repeated Miscarriages, remember that God has NOT forgotten you!  Again He will open doors for you.  Remember to include Him on this journey!  And trust His timing!  You will find answers!  Again, God is a God of JOY!  Keep the Commandments and watch Him work!  Bear in mind, His ways are not always Our ways!  Mothers of Adopted Littles, the Lord has indeed trusted great spirits to your care!  Take courage and cherish these precious little ones, because you are following after the pattern of God.  We are adopted sons and daughters of a kind Heavenly Father.  What a beautiful thing that you have followed His footsteps and chosen to answer the Call and have adopted sons and daughters of your own!

*disclaimer, no matter how many biological children the Lord shall choose to bless us with. my husband and I still plan to adopt at least one special child to whom we shall be called to be parents.  If you hear the call, answer it!

Happy Mother's Day, to you all!  Be encouraged!  Have Joy!

Introducing Baby #5

Andrew Paul

February 1st, 2017

4:04 PM

7 lbs 15 oz    -   20 in

#OperationAndy

#OperationAndy was the title of our journey to make sure Daddy made it home in time for the birth of his son.   God worked many miracles, thanks to the numerous prayers of our family and friends, and Daddy made it home with almost a week to spare.

 Week 39

The last week of pregnancy was spent in the usual fashion.  My husband was finally home and could take charge of the four other littles running around out house so I could get a good night's sleep. He was still on Korea time, so he spent his first few days sleeping during the day and awake most of the night.  This worked out well.   During the day, I let the well known "nesting stage" kick into gear.  I was determined to have a clean home before this baby arrived.  After all, we were having a scheduled Induction, so the date was not going to be a surprise.  Plenty of time to prepare.

Baby Day

Baby Day was finally here!  I called the Charge Nurse at 2am for instructions as to what time to report to the hospital by.  We were told to call back at 5am.  So I went back to bed.  Hubby woke me up at about 5:30am to call the Nurse back.  We were given a time - 8am.   I was still exhausted.   A couple of our children decided sleeping was for sissies that night so I was all worn out.  Hubby told me to go back to sleep for another hour.  We called the sister who was going to watch our children - early morning shift - and I went back to sleep.  By 6:45am we were out the door to meet up with my Doula, Amy - Beautifully Made Doula Services.   We met up at 7:15am and were headed up to Madigan Army Medical Center to have a baby!

We arrived at Labor & Delivery and were introduced to our Birthing Team and the Delivery Room.  The nurses in attendance from start to finish were Michelle and Lucy.  From the start, they were very kind and knowledgeable.  We planned for baby's first moments and I was pleasantly surprised by the changes that this hospital had made since my last delivery there (7 years before).   I had a great feeling about everything.  I explained I was super chicken when it came to IV placements.   The nurses called the Anesthesiologist to come do it.  He numbed the area, and stuck me - the first time.  It busted the vein.  So he had to numb another area, and tried again.  This time it took.  It was painful nonetheless.  And so labs were drawn, IV was started as well as the clyndamyacin (antibiotics treatments for Group B Strep).  And we waited.  Meanwhile I had a few contractions here and there. 

Good morning, Doctor!  Dr Jason Pates arrived about 9:30am to check in and make sure everything was ready to go!  He did a check to see where we were starting.  I was 50% effaced and 2 cm.  Good start.  He tried to break my water at that point - wasn't successful.  So we waited.  At about 10:30am, Pitocin was started.  Everything was easy going until about 1:30pm.  Hubby, Amy and I watched the movie:  Best Two Years!  Had several really good laughs.  Labor was going well.  at about 1:30pm, Nurse Lucy checked me again and I was a loose 3 cm and still about 50% effaced.  They upped the Pitocin.  We switched the movie to Hunchback of Notre Dame.  That movie, struck up some really good conversations between the nurses and I about good memories regarding a trip to France 14 years ago.  (sheesh has it really been that long ago?)  At this point I was laboring a lot more seriously (thanks, Pitocin) and was trying to talk through the contractions, I guess that was my coping method to get through the pain of those ones.  Worked for a while.  Dr Pates came back in at roughly 2:30pm to check me again and break my water.  This time I was still at 3cm but 80% effaced - was making some progress.  Water was successfully broken.  He told the nurses that he knew my history from this point on, so he let them know he was going to be just around the corner because he knew it was going to be soon.  Labor got super intense.  I was no longer talking through contractions.  I was trying to breathe through them.  Then came the tears.  The pain was still manageable but intense.  At about 3:55pm or so the nurses said it was time to call Doctor back in.  As promised, he was there pretty much instantly.  Checked a last time, and sure enough we were ready to go.  Nobody exactly had to tell me that.  The pressure of baby's head was enough.  By roughly 4pm or so I was pushing!  The pain was unbearable.  There was no breathing through it, or simply crying through it.  Screaming through it so didn't ease the pain, but it sorta helped me mentally get through it.  Thank goodness, little one knew what he was doing, because it didn't take too long, before his little self slid into this world of ours!  Our baby was declared born at 4:04pm. 

The First Couple Hours

Andy was a perfect baby!  He had a very long umbilical cord, and was easily placed "skin-to-skin" on my chest right after his birth.  I was still throbbing with pain, but so much in love!   I couldn't believe I was crazy enough to go through all that pain again - but so in love with the beautiful perfect little being that we helped create and bring into the world.  Next thing I knew, Andy was latched like a pro and nursing great! 

The placenta was delivered and we were well on our way to "recovery."  Baby was perfect!  Mama was in 7th Heaven!  We had the perfect Birthing Team imaginable.  I am grateful for each individual involved.  Doctor Pates has my utmost respect for his discretion and thoroughness.  Amy (doula) was outstanding.  Perfect help and photographer.  I could not have done it without her help and encouragement.  Joshua, my sweet husband - I really was worried I was going to accidentally break his hand this time.  Outstanding labor support.  Between him and Amy I was constantly reminded of the strength I had.  The nurses were amazing!  Very pleased with the care and support they offered, not to mention all the laughs.

We had guesses going around the room regarding his weight and birth time.  I was closest on all counts.  Andy was born around 4pm, he weighed 7lb 15oz (my guess was 7lb 12oz) and he was 20in long ( my guess was 20in too).  Apparently I can guesstimate my baby's size better than I thought.  The crowning glory of the day was hearing the Hospital play "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" as we were being transferred to the Mother-Baby Unit.   It meant, we had successfully introduced a new baby into our crazy world - bringing a bit of heaven's peace into our lives. 

Fertility Never Implies Brokenness

About a week ago, I was in Labor & Delivery for what turned out to be mild dehydration.  I was slightly surprised when the Doctor on staff popped the question:  "Have you thought about what form of birth control you will use after the birth of this baby?  You have a lot of children!"  Being the person I am, my swift reply was:  "You mean - aside from my husband being on the other side of the planet?"  And then it suddenly dawned on me that I have reached "that" time again!  With every baby, it seems the doctors are quick to push artificial birth control!  Depending on the doctor, the pressure can be minimal to intense.  I am grateful that my "actual" doctor is not pushy at all about the issue.  As a matter of fact, since the beginning I made it clear that I didn't want to pursue any artificial birth control methods after delivery and he has respected that and hasn't brought up the issue again.  But I still want to bring up a couple thoughts on the subject.  Be aware this is a really sensitive subject for pretty much everyone.  So please be kind if your views differ from someone else's. 
I have heard the saying so many times from random people:  "I will get fixed.  I don't want any more children."  While I respect your choice of not desiring any more babies, I just can't stand the term "get fixed."  It implies that we are broken!  Despite my aversion to this term, I started looking into options this pregnancy considering it has been a little extra rough this go around.  But as I looked at the various options, I kept reading about major complications that arise from these random options.  There are so many lawyers out there offering legal aid to those affected negatively by these random options.  I feel like the chase to try to stop something causes much bigger issues. 

We are NOT broken, ladies!  Our ability to conceive and carry children is a blessing that millions around the world wish they had!  It is this ability that sets us apart as Co-Creators with God!  How literally divine is that!  That does not imply "brokenness" at all!  Perhaps we should consider an alternate term for our personal choice to not accept more babies.   

I understand reasons for choosing to avoid conception.  Finances for instance generally are at the top of that list.  Sometimes serious medical complications come up where it is necessary to care for one's personal health without the added risks that a High Risk Pregnancy would bring!  Trust me, I understand.  I am not here to judge or interrogate your personal reasons.  I do ask that you go to the Author of Life Himself for guidance on this serious subject however!  It is between you and Him. 
Please educate yourselves on the risks of the various options of artificial birth control!  Don't go for what's the latest, or popular!  Remember any kind of manmade alteration of God's design comes with long term risks:  ie, increased risk of cancer, blood clotting disorders, thyroid health, mental health and more.  Know the risks!  Decide which form is best for you!  Personally, I prefer a Natural Family Planning route!  Nothing is permanent, or even semi-permanent!  It still leaves the window open for God's Will to be done regarding your family size and timing!  God, seeing all things from beginning to end, is the only One who knows what is ultimately best for you and your family and it's best timing!  It is a matter of Faith! 
"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate."   Psalm 127: 4-5 
After much prayer, it has been decided that no form of Birth Control will be pursued at this time!  We have faith that God has the perfect plan for our family, including it's size!  God has worked wondrous miracles in my medical health all of my life!  He has given me important wise insight into how to help myself physically.  He continues to guide me in the upbringing of my children.  He infuses strength to care for the needs of my family.  He will never let me down!  If it is His Will, He will provide a way!  This goes back to my favorite Scripture of all time: 

"...I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."   1 Nephi 3: 7

Spirit of Christmas according to the First Christmas....

Sacrament Meeting at Church this past Sunday left my heart very sad.  There were moments, I wanted to leave early to hide tears that seemed to quietly stream down my face.  Why would I be so sad during such a joyful season? 

The topic chosen for this Sunday was the true Spirit of  Christmas!  The youth spoke of their love for the Christmas Story - the Birth of Jesus Christ.  The adult speakers focused more on how the Spirit of Christmas is portrayed in their families.  It wasn't about receiving the gifts that were so beautifully wrapped under the exquisitely decorated Christmas Tree!  It was more about being surrounded by their families and re-enacting the first Christmas so to speak by taking on the role of the Gift Giver.  It was at that point, that my heart busted!  This year the most important person in my mortal life is on the other side of the planet.  We are celebrating Christmas separately this year!  Nothing feels the same!  I am having a hard time rejoicing despite the festivity of the season!  Since then I have chosen to focus on the First Christmas Story and wondered what lessons could be gleaned from the various mini-stories surrounding this pivotal event in human history!  Let us take a walk thru the Book of Luke in Chapter Two. 

The Spirit of Obedience

Luke 2: 1-5 
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.  (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)  And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.  And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)  To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

This year I can very much relate to the hardship this brought upon Mary.  The day after Thanksgiving this year, I had a spontaneous crazy idea to go visit my father who lives in Idaho.  Generally, that would not be a terrible idea.  However, I traveled by myself being 29 weeks expecting with all four of my children.  What should not have been that long of a trip turned into 12 hours of traveling that day!  Very trying on everyone, to say the least! We had the luxury of a heater and lovely Christmas music to entertain us the whole journey.  And I traveled according to my own desires, not because of a political mandate.  These first few verses show the primary Spirit of Christmas - one that we must carry the whole year through - Obedience!  Ponder it a minute:  Joseph could have very well chosen to refrain from traveling to Bethlehem with the very excellent excuse that his wife was in her last trimester, knowing the hardship of the journey - no heat, riding a donkey, contractions, nowhere to sleep at night, how about those swollen feet?  But instead, he chose to obey the command!  And they were blessed with protection from thieves and good health during the course of their travels. 

Fulfillment of Prophecy

Luke 2: 6-7

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.  And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Christ's birth location was foretold by the prophets of old:

Micah 5: 2

But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.

God's word will always be fulfilled!  Everything about the coming and ministry of the Messiah was foretold by the Prophets.  God has stated that every word shall come to pass!  And indeed, Joseph's obedience enabled the prophecy's fulfillment.

The Spirit of Simplicity and Joy

Luke 2: 8-20

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.  And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.  And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.  And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.  And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.  But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.  And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

The story of the simple shepherds tugs at my heartstrings every year.  The first people that were told of Christ's birth were those who were literally children at heart.  They were the simplest of the simple.  Back in the day, the shepherds were ridiculed for their lowliness.  After all, the only job they were entrusted with was tending the sheep - didn't take much intelligence to do that task.  Yet, while the shepherds were tending to their flocks in the stillness of that silent and holy night, they were visited by a host of Angels - God's messengers.  And they were given the gift of peace as they were directed to where the Holy Family was taking shelter - a meager stable. 

We all know the story of the little Drummer Boy.  Even the myths surrounding their gifts fit the simplicity and purity of their hearts.  The shepherds didn't shy away from visiting the Infant Saviour because they didn't have a gift to give.  They simply went as they were and gave the best of what they had.  I imagine some gave some of whatever their talents were.  I imagine one singing a tender lullaby, another beating his drum, another laying his staff as a gift.  We know that even the animals worshipped the Newborn King!  This story of simplicity and peace just fills my heart with joy and tenderness!

The Spirit of Humility and Sensitivity to God's Guidance

Matthew 2: 1-12 
Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.  When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.  And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.  And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judea: for thus it is written by the prophet, And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel.  Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.  And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.  When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.  When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.  And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.  And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.

What is amazing about the story of the Wise Men is that they were three Kings from separate regions.  However, despite their royalty they were in tune with Scriptural Prophecies and the things of God.  The night Christ was born, the Star which was foretold by prophets of old, appeared!  All three Magi took note and commenced their journey following that wondrous Star in search of the Savior!  They each packed a gift!  Gifts that were significant of His Role, Ministry, and Atoning Sacrifice!  They followed the Star.  They made one mistake, they expected Christ to be born in Jerusalem, knowing that He was a King.  So they stopped in Jerusalem and met up with King Herod.  What is interesting is that God, knowing the purity of their intentions, caused that the Star should wait for them.  The Star disappeared while they were in Jerusalem.  But reappeared the second they departed the city wherein Christ was not.  Once again, they followed the Star until they reached the humble stable in Bethlehem.  My eyes tear up imagining these mighty kings falling on their knees to worship the Newborn King!  With this act, they portrayed incredible humility.  Paying homage to their King, they presented their gifts:  Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.  I don't know about you, but as a mother of a newborn I would not necessarily want to be reminded about my child's death.  Although Mary knew, this still had to bring a touch of sorrow to her heart. 

On their journeys homeward, all three kings heeded the warning of God, and avoided returning to King Herod in Jerusalem.  Again enabling the fulfillment of more prophecies of old.  Are we that sensitive and obedient to the still small voice?  What mountains do you think we could move or even avoid if we only paid attention and obeyed?

Power in the NAME of JESUS

Luke 2: 21 
And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called Jesus, which was so named of the angel before he was conceived in the womb.
Today there is so much controversy over the topic of circumcision.  Christ was taken to the Temple at 8 days of age to be circumcised per requirement of the Mosaic Covenant.  At that point, Christ was given the name which the Angel had announced to Mary.  Few understand the incredible supernatural power in the name of Jesus!  The power of authority, forgiveness, healing, conversion, eternal salvation and so much more are found in it's faith-filled utterance/declaration! Call upon his name often in humility and faith and per Divine Will, mountains of all kinds will be moved!   

Summary

There you have it, my friends!  The true Spirit of Christmas as taught by that sacred First Christmas!  Ponder the tender stories and find a way to apply them to your life this Christmas season as well as throughout the whole year!  Blessed and Joyful Christmas!